Pasta
How you’re using it: You don’t know how to cook.
First off, use a giant pot. Always fill the pot with cold water. Heavily salt the water, but never put oil in it—this lends to the sauce not clinging to the pasta in the right way. Also, spaghetti is a great way to light something on fire from the stove if you don’t have a match—highly flammable but slow burning!